Yesterday I watched in shock a distant uncle of mine urinating outside my house. For the footnotes: he was doing it in front of children. To clear the air: actually I did not watch, I just saw because it is disgusting to look at such humiliating scenario. He was extremely drunk and he had no idea how he happened at our place. His ‘habitat’ is about 3kms from our place but he had travelled all the way to a pub neighboring our home for a drink. After some inquiry from my grandmother later, I came to find out just like the prices of makeup, he has increased his level of consumption of late.
“He works the whole day and later drinks to the last coin” my grandmother indicated. Today in the frenzy of father’s day wishes my mind recalled this guy is father to two beautiful girls. And I am right now wondering who is there for those kids as a dad? How do they feel when they see their dad drunk? What type of ladies will they grow up to be? Will they even admire to be married? I can only pray they will not grow up thinking all men are the same.
On Happy Mother’s day, I posted a poem to appreciate our mothers. Today been Father’s Day I cannot even get a letter to write in a poem for the modern day fathers. Right from my own father who run away from his responsibilities. That the greatest form cowardice, but anyway, anybody fertile can be a father and but it takes a man of character to be a dad.
The man I grew up around as a father figure was my grandfather. I admired how he solved issues without creating drama. He worjed hard to make sure we never slept hungry despite having no formal job. He was a small scale farmer and a pastor, by then prosperity gospel was not the order of the day. The message of tithing was not loud enough and I clearly recall my mum offering Ksh.10 (add and highlight the word ONLY). As if that not enough, the source of the 10bob happened to be his father who was the pastor. Now that what real fathers do; they provide offering to their kids.
Later he passed on while I was in class four. And he left a gap that only the man called Jesus was able to fill as https://danmuniu.wordpress.com/2016/04/07/the-single-mums-son/
narrates. But am grateful he taught me how to pray and ignited passion in me to serve God fully in my life.
As I am writing this my fingers are shaking because am totally worried about the future fathers. In 5 to 10 years’ time, people of my age will be fathers. We future fathers have grown up in a society where our modern fathers are not dads anymore. It is our modern Fathers leading us in IEBC demos. It is our modern fathers inciting us against each other in the political arena. It is our fathers giving and receiving bribes. It is our very modern fathers who are our running mates in hunting women. Basic morals and values escaped their souls long ago and right now they are sponsoring our beautiful girlfriends who should be their daughters. It is our modern fathers who….. (add the list)
Statistics from a study carried out by Mr. Lucy show the number of modern fathers in church has decreased. The study shows their number has drastically increased in pubs and brothels. The study indicated that some are working for long hours and rarely have time for their families. Shockingly, the research findings reveals that some modern fathers have turned into village veterinaries, impregnating every girl they come across.
“They are always in clubs drinking with us and watching football with us” a concerned respondent revealed.
Mr. Lucy’s research findings formulated a hypotheses for my own research proposal. My research questions include: Who will nature the boy child to be a man? Is it our mothers? In my literature review, different scholars have studied the effects of absent fathers. Professor Muniu (2015, pg. 32) observes there men who physically look like women in our society. They behave like women, walk like women and talk like women. They use white towels, white bedsheets and use make up. In his book “Power of Prayer”, Pastor Daniel writes that this type of men pray they don’t grow beards and their voice never deepens. Dr. Diana (2014) attributes this to absent fathers.
With this studies we can come to a bitter conclusion without collecting any data that our modern fathers have neglected their duties. We can also conclude that you can never take people where you have never been and so our mothers cannot be able to raise boys to men alone. Allow me to make recommendations since we already have conclusions from the literature review.
Recommendations to Modern Fathers
1. Go to church and let our Father in Heaven teach you to be a good father.
2. Have moments with your sons, teach them to walk and talk like men.
3. Teach them how to handle women but avoid lustful thoughts for young ladies.
4. Be a man enough and take up your responsibilities! Provide for your family and have a good time with them.
Recommendations to future Fathers
1. Let us learn from our moderns fathers, copy and paste their good habits but delete their bad habits.
2. If you impregnate a girl in what you call an accident. Please accept you are the one who caused the accident and take care of the victims. Kids are blessings. He maybe the next President.
3. Choose to honor, love, respect, adore and be faithful to one woman. Acha Ufisi!
Today I am making a blog call if not an altar to all Fathers to be dads. And to my fellow young men let us grow up to be great dads to our kids. Let us keep to heart that real men are not defined by how fast they run away from problems but by how well they can face them. Let future dads stand and be counted!
Finally to the few remnants who are dads… I wish you Happy Father’s Day. Keep up and mentor our generation to change the future.